Want to stop negative self-talk and finally believe in yourself? Learn how to silence the voice that says, “That’s not for people like me” — and move forward.
Before I walked across America, I nearly didn’t. Not because I wasn’t capable. Not because I didn’t want it badly enough.
But because I believed the lie that it wasn’t meant for someone like me.
“You don’t have the money.”
“You’ll never finish.”
“Who are you to even try this?”
“That would be career suicide.”
If you’ve ever had thoughts like that… you’re not alone.
What might surprise you is this: those words weren’t said to me by critics or doubters.
I said them to myself.
That’s how the Sabotaging Voice works. It doesn’t shout. It shrugs.
And if you want to stop negative self-talk from running your life, you have to learn to recognize the voice that sounds like you… but isn’t really you.
The Voice That Sounds Like Truth (But Isn’t)
I call it the “Too-Too” voice. It quietly convinces you that you’re:
Too late.
Too old.
Too poor.
Too sensitive.
Too normal.
Too much.
The voice of self-doubt doesn’t usually arrive in full-on panic. It starts subtly — like a whisper that sounds like wisdom:
“That’s not for people like you. Better to play it safe.”
It’s familiar. It’s reasonable. And it’s the reason so many people stop before they start.
This is why so many women I coach — especially high-achieving, heart-led women in midlife — find themselves stuck. They’ve already accomplished so much, but something inside tells them that the next dream isn’t for them.
Sound familiar?
When Negative Self-Talk Gets Louder
Ironically, the closer we get to doing something bold, the louder the voice becomes.
As I began planning my cross-country walk, my sabotaging voice started digging up every possible reason to stop me:
“Remember when you almost failed out of college?”
“You’ve quit before.”
“This is just another thing you won’t finish.”
It didn’t come from malice. It came from fear.
Fear of embarrassment. Fear of disappointment. And fear of failure.
The voice wasn’t trying to hurt me — it was trying to protect me.
But in doing so, it was keeping me small.
How I Stopped Listening to the Voice
Everything shifted when I came across stories of two men who had walked across America before: Mark Dudek and Andrew Kivett.
They weren’t celebrities or elite athletes.
They were just… normal guys.
And I remember thinking:
If they can do this… why not me?
That question became the wedge that cracked the old story wide open.
From that point on, every mile I walked gave me proof.
And proof is what dismantles negative self-talk — more effectively than logic ever could.
You Are Not the Voice in Your Head
In The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer writes:
“There is a voice in your head, and it is not you. You are the one who hears it.”
That one sentence changed the way I view negative self-talk.
It helped me realize:
I’m not the voice.
I’m the witness.
Once I saw it clearly, I could start using what I call my “flashlight of awareness” — shining light on the voice, not to fight it, but to understand and move past it.
A Client Story: The Etsy Shop That Almost Wasn’t
One of my coaching clients — a brilliant, creative woman in her 50s — told me she dreamed of starting an Etsy shop for her handmade art.
But then she said the words I’ve heard so many times:
“I’d love to… but I just don’t have what it takes.”
So I asked her:
“Okay — what does it take?”
She paused. Thought. Realized… she didn’t know.
She had built a list of invisible requirements in her mind — things no one had actually asked of her. It was just the Sabotaging Voice again, wearing a new disguise.
Together, we unpacked that voice. And slowly, she began to take steps anyway. Now, she’s not just selling her art — she’s rewriting her story.
3 Ways to Stop Negative Self-Talk
You don’t have to destroy the voice. You just have to stop believing everything it says.
Here’s how to start:
1. Name the Voice
Ask yourself: What is this voice saying to me right now?
Is it helpful — or just familiar?
2. Challenge It
What is it trying to protect you from?
And is that fear still valid today?
3. Move Anyway
Do one small thing your Sabotaging Voice says you can’t.
The only way to disprove fear is with truth — and truth is built through action.
One Last Thing…
Alex Hormozi says something I come back to often:
“You only need three things to succeed:
The balls to start,
The brain to learn,
And the heart to never give up.”
You already have all three.
Will This Be a Life Worth Remembering?
There’s one question that helped me take that first step west:
“If I’m lucky enough to remember my life at 90… will this be a story worth remembering?”
When the voice told me “That’s not for people like you,”
I decided to ask a better question.
And then, I started walking.
💬 Let’s Rewrite the Script Together
What’s one sentence your inner critic has been repeating?
Write it down.
Now cross it out — and replace it with the truth.
If you’re ready to stop believing the old story and start building something new, I’d love to help.
🕒 Book a free 15-minute call with me — let’s talk about where you are, where you want to go, and how we can get you there.
👉 Click here to schedule your call
(Insert your Calendly or scheduling link)
You’re not the voice.
You’re the one who hears it — and walks beyond it.
Let’s take that next step together.